(74) writing on way to the desert and working on this post on way home an important portion of the post silenced unexplainably.

I was hoping to discontinue the blog but had to extend it since my nemesis isn't retiring anytime soon. Transcendent mission I am the target person and of course anyone that supports me. Nothing like being categorized so the status quo can push his agenda for what is assumed and predicted then post-hoc rationalize to confirm one's bias of what is expected of a label through a negative lens and smear campaigns. Ever since the new position the status quo is about elevated as an ego can become inflated. Externally driven, public image, motivated by an external locus of control and tribal politics someone should not have to be cool because of how they can show off by bullying and punking people. Life is short and for some they become so consumed in its events that psychosocial stressors (i.e., cumulative effect over a lifetime) overwhelms them in ways that genuine meaning and the simple pleasures of life begin to slip. Often people from a lower social economic status experience more stress in early life even in the form of intergenerational and collective trauma. In scenarios where toxic stress takes a higher cumulative effect on a person personal growth and human development should be of the utmost concern. Rising above these struggles to finding deeper meaning in suffering, instead, of a negative emotional reaction without resolve, promotes a lifestyle and neural development that combat against mental health and personality disorders.

Reward and meaning are authentic when reinforcement comes from an inner locus of control only this is self-reinforcing when it is characterized through an internalized set of values that distinguishes what one truly expects of oneself in daily living.

Living in sync to one's values and principles is really the only way to experience true happiness and contentment at the neural level. Like the moral rudder to a ship a solid foundation of the core identity is one that is free from ego and is driven by compassion when a person is balanced in their cognitive/emotional states, (i.e., healthy balance between interoception & exteroceptive abilities). Being self-aware promotes positive growth and enhances a higher state of self- consciousness. In fact, when cognition takes precedence over emotion as an effort to seek reason and deeper meaning while encountering events in life this prevents being burdened by stress, which allows for regulating emotional states to prevent becoming addicted to negative emotions like fear, anxiety, anger and hate.

Seeking deeper meaning through a more rational compassionate approach to life not only regulates emotion, but also keeps the nervous system in check to keep stress low and positive energy and learning high. This is a product of internalized character-based value driven living, contributing to bottom- up processing; a mind body connection, which attributes a much higher level of conscious ability (i.e., intuition, emotional attunement etc.). A solid foundation will show on the surface through patience, creativity, imagination, humor, learning, memory and love. Rather than dissociating from self, repressing and living up to others' expectations by neglecting to find meaning in one's own life. Which is ego based a form of fantasy and a false sense of self. Which leads to more deep-seated issues being unresolved, therefore aggregating towards becoming addicted to negative emotions. As an individual becomes more detached and as frustration and tensions become more misguided addictions to adverse behaviors will become more pathological in nature. For example, maladaptive behavior may become so problematic that a person may relent in despair to functioning in one of two ways. It being all about them at any given moment, or if they do not get what they want then it would be all about retribution. The extent of pathology will present in how vindictive, inhumane, or how evil they treat others.