(147) Thoughts, a cool article, and moms birthday

Internal locus of control- have a solid foundation of values and principles that you live by. Gets you to your destination. Utilizes the frontal cortex through a context and dialogue of living and by tending to these life matters (i.e., situations, circumstances, cognitive appraisal, behavior, outcomes), and as the complexities of a personality are intertwined through experience, wisdom, and knowledge (social emotional learning) staying aligned to self and accountable to others (empathy) then a whole embodied self exists (solid core identity). This is not selfish, greedy or apathetic behaviors like when life becomes a competition. For example, people are in external locus of control dependent on others ( issues become politicized for personal gain to show how good that they are (ego) by post-rationalizing to show that they are right. A form of desperation or suffering from the inability to look within and make meaning is apathy. In the state of apathy an individual experiences self- deception and lacks a growth mind-set, therefore focus outward negatively instead without looking within will deceive others, due to the irrelevant, dysfunctional, pathological vacuum of existence they experience. Psychologist Rollo May said, to fill the void of apathy that a person will act implosively or explosively, and it is just a matter of time for something to set them off.

An election was enough to set the person off that hates me. In the motivational state (external locus of control) the need of external validation is high driven by the need to show how good they are is exacerbated, not just because of lacking a solid foundation (i.e., no internalization process), but even more so since the ungenuine inauthentic nature of external validation is not self-reinforcing at the neural level the individual is starved for dopamine. Undoubtedly, motivated by an external locus of control is a derivative of a stressed individual not rising above the discrepancies in their own life and synonymous to the what the maladaptive stress response explains is an individual with nucleus acumens area (reward center) that is out of balance is prone to adverse behaviors, that will be risky, and acted out on impulse. Seeking dopamine in an excessive fashion leads to addiction and a worsening of behaviors. Which like in what presents in this scenario problems resulting from a lack of coping, and the inability to create a healthy inner environment thorough positive growth, the person will further regress in this negative exhausted condition and as the stressors in their life become worse so will their condition.

This includes the behaviors that they have become addicted to will become worse. Apathy known as the gateway to hell, and the person being on the fence the next level on the emotional intelligence scale after antipathy is evil. My first post to this blog five years ago spoke of how cruel this individual is. Today is an exacerbated condition of trying to extinguish threat that is all a course of his exhausted state with no resistance to manage stress is to (from a long progression of these practices) has went from bullying to pushing around to what I experience as full blown dehumanizing from manipulating me from living my life deception to believing his lies self-deception to cancel culture. 100% away from his professional responsibility and lacking experience from ever looking within and trying harder is a career with no experience, a shell of existence with no feeling, no moral conscience yet a propensity to kick ass for the need to for validation of his ego one way but having to portray an image the other is not only cognitive dissonance (two opposing thoughts that create tension that contributes to an attitude problem) this is also a person that is experiencing a dissociative disorder.

I have been researching psychology now for many years and am reading this paper that explains how PTSD is exacerbated when a dissociative disorder is present in the individual's life. Especially if coupled with PTSD. A therapist would know that the stress from PTSD could contribute to Dissociative disorder. Or The person from earlier life stressors could have struggled to look within, focused outward negatively instead and never developed morally, thus lacking a genuine sense of self to that of an ego based false self instead.  

My call for help has been greatly ignored while this individual runs a crafty underground program for retribution and vindication when this is his capability to cope. Worse is the fact of being hunted down and targeted in a campaign that is geared to take people out that is scary when this man calls the shots and is willing to do so but his mind does not see the bigger picture due to the inability for context and dialogue of the humanness or the human condition (situational factors contributing to a person's suffering) because his whole personal (or lack thereof) is a product of not looking within to rise above the suffering from the very experiences in his own life the very reason for the troubled person in question has all the internalized troubles that he is so overwhelmed by.

 REVIEW article

Front. Neuroscience., 15 April 2021

Sec. Perception Science

Volume 15 - 2021 | https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2021.625490

                                                                                                                                        How Processing of Sensory Information From the Internal and External Worlds Shape the Perception and Engagement With the World in the Aftermath of Trauma: Implications for PTSD

     This paper is exciting for me and ties in nicely with all the studies that I have been working on as a continuation of my studies at CSULB but instead at home. This is not witchcraft or pathology like Bob bashing my identity. I truly seek objective truth and reality through the highest bar of accountability. I just read this article and look forward to integrating this into my coexisting body of knowledge. Nope not like to show how good I am but to give back like the goal I set when going back to school in 2006. To have come so far with a deeper understanding from all of the efforts of my research and integrating new learning as I go is exciting and rewarding just the same.

A program of switching stuff out on the shelves by knowing what I buy and tracking me to get to where I am going first. Daniel Goleman says there are 3 types of empathy Cognitive, emotional and empathic concern. If you lack the last 2 and only have cognitive that you can hit your target really well, but you do not care about the people he calls it running amok. Also like running amok in limbic friction. Read this paper. What I share is like what they speak of the embodied self. A heathy interoception begins from secure attachment yet contributes to an interoception to your exteroception balance of your inner environment to your external environment. You cannot do this without having an internal locus of control. Just like unhealthy attachment styles contribute in the worst case to object permanence (Otto Kernberg studies 1973). Like the depersonalization derealization that takes place in dissociative disorder. This man is coming apart and starting another four years at this baseline? Bob is going to cause catastrophic damage; it is already underway. After the election he is not putting his head down focusing on the organization he is chasing a deluded fear and paranoia compelled to extinguish threat actually using practices that are illegal that he wants to cover, but uses the practices (cancel culture) as the process (extreme behaviors that he has become addicted too that are pathological) as a means to cover them up.

Now is this a sign of maladaptively functioning for too long, or an outcome (like the attached paper suggests) of what an individual experiencing the subtype of dissociative- PTSD may struggle with? The hypervigilant focus on fear/threat combined with emotional numbness is a disconnect different from PTSD to that of a broader brain body disconnect that a person may experience as part of experiencing the dissociated disorder PTSD subtype. Lacking embodied self and interoceptive inference a heightened emotional dysregulation persists, the insula cortex gone unregulated can include a visceral response contributing to feelings of nausea from an implicit bias generalized to social issues. Studies from Jonathan Haidt has found this to be moral disgust. Further, the basal ganglia that usually scans the environment of your whole life, the paper suggests, may be greatly offline. So rather than have semantic encoding of a stream of consciousness (past, current, and future life perspectives), from feeling, heuristics, or meta cognition the individual will experience semantic barriers instead. The review linked above lists four things that they bring a lot of awareness about standard baseline functioning to differentiate that of PTSD, and its dissociative disorder PTSD subtype.