(122) A guy couldn't try any harder

One thing I found with Jess is that love is infinite and has continuity when it is reciprocal. It can’t be lose/win or win/lose. It must be a win/win for love to have continuity and for love to be infinite due to validation versus rejection.

The final stage of Eriksons 8 stages of development is generativity vs stagnation/despair.

To not have it be all about me or its all about retribution a person would have to have developed the ability to reason through an internal context and dialogue with constructs stored through learning to have the ability to discriminate your own thinking. To be agreeable you have to be conscientious. These are prerequisites of seeking deeper meaning, to be flexible throughout life from learning and deeper understanding. An internal locus of control is to make ethical decisions grounded in following principles laws you have of yourself to have as a guide to hold accountability of self too, to follow value’s that you hold dear that are used as a compass as a guide to make sound decisions in things that challenge you. Folks that are ego based and seek external locus of control/validation create a narrative of the false self that is very subjective which lacks the higher self’s ability that of an internal locus of control which has to be created/developed in the social emotional learning process that of life.

It is difficult to believe that this gotcha culture thing is becoming a problem and that people would want to take people out from anger or to silence them or even as a political aspiration to serve ones self for their own greedy, apathetic, selfish ways. I hope it is easier understood when you can see the dynamics that the behavioral manifestations have biological, physicochemical and social/environmental substrate and correlations to them. Until I see my cat go through the experience then you realize this is more dangerous what is taking place that is humanly possible to imagine. Seeking objective truth/reality is how through living I have come structured at the neural level to function. I hold myself to a higher bar of accountability. A developed ability to see the bigger picture is field of neuro networking ability to have high level pattern recognition. Empathy compassion and moral reasoning contributes to higher self and neural circuitry through reasoning and finding rational outcomes of things that challenge you is just a calling not to react emotionally but to look within tune in to your rapidly evolving cognition, intuition, and emotion to develop and grow. Create a self through deeper meaning store it and have a frontal cortex that does not have barriers but instead has semantic encoding ability to have a stream of consciousness to develop alignment to self intuitively to take past, present and create an anticipated future to live by that reinforces who you are through implications that arise in your life in the moment. Creative coping and reasoning this way contributes to the integration of the right and left hemisphere’s to function as a whole it takes effort, dedication, and discipline. This is the spirit of life to tune in, to stay in alignment with self to be, is to function as a whole. Jess is the hero here his unconditional love and reciprocity with me we brought the best out of each other, Jess was filled with love and with life it was a win/ win. It is tuning into the spirit of self and casting outwards that is positive alive and well to learn and to grow through one another one day at a time it takes a lifetime we never stop learning. Thank those that challenge you in the right context and frame of mind this is when your true character will hopefully shine the possibilities of growth are unlimited this is development this is life.

I have been posting on the blog about negative practice since 2021. Is it all about power? Gets more extreme with power. Is it about keeping power? The mindset is what contains power or it also explains why a person would run amok. No empathy, no caring, no making meaning, no accountability to self. If no one else expects a higher standard what will it be? The soul the true character the moral conscience the most important part of us. Bob upped his game in the villain department if he hates someone manipulate exploit then turn others against the person he hates then beat up on them. Now of all his career his program is escalating the sadistic evil of a madman. Hmm this isn’t in any of Eriksons stages of development but the HATRED IS IN HISTORY, this history taking place right now is just like the hatred that took place in history. All about ego and power and the worse he treats people just cause he can get away with it now because of power kind of explains that the need for power and that not everyone’s need for power comes from a healthy genuine place. Displacing deep seated unresolved issues through hate onto others is just compensating, unfortunately this does not solve your problems it only makes them worse.

 The example is in the extreme of behavior and the extreme of the views he places onto others. Once evil and sadistic there is no turning back only will escalate till he gets so inhumane in breaching human rights against others that he will have to be stopped.

 Negative emotional state apathy, disgust cannot see any good in anything really becomes a quest of greed selfishness and bent on destruction. Some are capable to hate some are not, some are capable of violence and aggression towards others, some are not. Detachment from self is not reality it is fantasy and living a falsehood a deluded state of being It is what accountability you hold yourself too for some there is none, some have lost themselves at some point in time and holding a higher bar of accountability is incapable for them.  

Follow-up 4/9/25,

Dark period has come, sure seems like it and seems nationalism has taken place against our own people. who jumps on board and who doesn’t may be a topic of dark personality. Here briefly speaking, I find being a target and experiencing escalation of aggression through the years towards me and having awareness of these shifts at what was taking place it seems that character/personality has a lot to do with the volition how people act, interpret, perceive, and behave. This partially is self- awareness if you add cognition and emotion which are both intertwined with each other cognition and emotion definitely combined with volition, interpretation, perception, which are all interlinked in development but also tied to behavioral outcomes.

Since Monday April 7th the restraint is low and arousal is getting worse in being hypervigilant, hypercritical, hit squads, targeting people (that have different opinions, or not the subordinate of the label that was placed on you), for example, harassing, bullying, exploiting, manipulating, and intimidating others. This would be anyone that has a different view or opinion, which it is tough to have a case study or gain experience for learning and positive growth if the emotions (i.e., fear, anger, hatred, anxiety) override all logic or deny acceptance of the objective truth/reality of another person’s learned and gained experience. Surely, looking within to make meaning, to challenge one’s axioms through a different interpretation as a means to have acceptance and rational outcomes instead of just seeing things as broken while denying accountability of the situations and circumstances in a persons life by creating a narrative that is derived through political aspirations, greed and a fixed mindset by criminalizing and dehumanizing a person away from keeping the humanness in the equation by seeing someone for who they are rather than what they are based on what you want to see them as (subjective, opinion, attitude based).

 Often they say identity politics is narcissism, to an extreme form tribal politics, and when taken to a further extreme of intensification it is cancel culture. This is the extreme I am experiencing and like I say it is an extreme that just continually builds as pressure is on someone that is increased by the status and level of power in which they hold. This is synonymous with pathology and clusters of traits associated with psychopathy. The definition of psychopathy in the Behavioral Neuroscience book, by Breelove and Watson is clusters of personality traits associated with superficial charm, lying, and diminished remorse. Obviously connected to a character that has hate and is aggressive. Like Dr. Ramni explains, studies show narcissism is linked to violence and even seeking pleasure in cruelty and causing others pain. The direction of the country is headed silence those that do not agree with you. Who would agree with someone that is a pathological psychopath? Even the person themselves maintains some sort of stability, but it always seems to build and build till something inside of them seems to have lost all control. Sadly, the loss of control is a propensity to evil and sadism that is pathology because human nature is and should be something much better than this. At least if we want to see mankind survive this surely is not the direction that we would want to lead by, be an example of, and to not direct violence and hatred towards others. For any person you it is difficult to imagine how others are capable of acting of, especially if your not capable of acting in a specific manner yourself. Maybe this is why evil persists and has to get so bad before it sets into a reality for people then they realize holy crap this is really taking place and this is really wrong someone has gone to far and it should not be happenning. It is true that people that get stuck in clusters of personality traits that are maladaptive to being humane rather than functioning effectively. Evil does not evolve overnight it takes maladaptively functioning on top of maladaptive functioning for years for a higher degree of pathology like that of psychopathy to set in. Sadly, it is that many get caught in their path of destruction and get their lifes destroyed and ruined as a result. For me it has never been brought to my attention that there has been any sort of issue, instead I experienced practices away from what an organization claims to function as.

This is where I have been stuck for so long that it is disheartening that the monster has evolved again even more evil this time to run a program that disregards human life. To dehumanize (pseudo speciation) someone to the degree that they are not even seen as human clearly is moving back in time which is a serious breach of human rights from a serious management problem. This is to simplify thinking when metaphors get used to the thems they are vermon, filth then treat them as such just like Adolph Hitler did to the Jewish people just like so many other genocides. Going back in history better to not say a word unless you are already are on their hit list with no remorse. So obviously at this point of time and degree of extremes nothing will change that but taking the path of least resistance, but this is what allows for the extremes to become this level and more people get hurt. Well, this is not right either.

If Psychopathy is a disease and the bible says take a stand against evil, then what sane rational human being will stand up to evil? I try to understand the root cause which seems to be too much stress in early life development. Therefore, understanding human development in regards to mental health really is important to help people find genuine happiness and contentment in their life. I share some of my studies of human consciousness and what I’ve discovered researching behavioral neurosciences here in this brief writing. Nonetheless, living and leading in a way that promotes living in homeostasis and developing to experience the rewarding aspects of intellectual and emotional maturity has become a quest for me I guess because it was part of my goal when I began my schooling endeavors in 2006.

What would be one way to understand the addiction briefly to explain how someone evolves further in ways that keep them striving for more?

It is a question that if looking at a person who has character traits and is in a state of mind for them to unfold one may experience development as as the process of individuation (jung) to function as a whole issues resolved, no conflicts within the subconscience), which needs to be done for a volition of gratitude and modesty above self one that seeks objective truth and reality without judgement which would be to account for a thorough work-up of the human condition from starting point to mature state. I have tried to help and share my knowledge and experience in previous blogs and in many conversations. Further accounting for the complexity of individual differences through a biopsychosocial lens in a multidimensional approach is an endeavor that allows for better mental health outcomes due to not getting tripped up by behavioral symptoms or social issues, but actually treating the person as a whole by looking at the underpinnings, overlapping conditions and comorbid conditions to understand multiple etiologies by pinpointing the underlying causal mechanism for how to better handle a subject for more accurate treatment options getting them on track for better mental health outcomes.                                                                                                         

 lets just look at one way addiction forms to become extreme at the physiocochemical and psychological level where a person is running amok. Grant you that running amok is related to limbic friction, cognition leaning more towards emotional imbalance, dysregulation often as a result of the maladaptive stress response or a cascade of development scenarios from too much stress over a lifetime.

Danniel Goleman, explains a leader that runs amok by looking at the three types of empathy.

1.      Cognitive empathy

2.       Emotional empathy

3.      Empathic concern  

He shares that leaders that just have cognitive empathy know how others feel, but that it stops right there. They can hit the target well, but they do not care and the people are ready to leave. The thing I find interesting is he calls a leader running amok can hitting their target well but not caring is being subjective tying someone to an ideology to something that you hate then acting on it (social reward).

Polarized ideologies and extreme behaviors:

One way behavior/pathology evolves in extremes is in the dopamine serotonin hypothesis. Acting on your discontent to seek pleasure will only make you need more of the behavior to become less happy. Which builds the intensity of hatred and unhappiness to a heightened degree of violence to be directed outward towards what you hate.

Note if cognition and emotion are aligned morally in a healthy empathic cognitive and emotional balance then the person will be happy and content, because they seek deeper meaning for their suffering and the suffering of others from being empathically attuned. 

April 10, 2025

1.      Why do I have over 100 blogs and emails to myself based around a difficult person that has included me to put on the top of his list as someone to have to seek retribution after?

2.      And what tools does he have, and what motivates him to do what he does?

3.      The status quo needs a subordinate. They have a big ego someone with a big ego needs someone to separate themselves from to distinguish who they are. Surely motivated to through an external validation and a need to be extraordinary for their public image is everything.

4.       Well not everything what about a means for success? Top down hierarchy where it is about who kicks the most ass that gets to the top. Sense of superiority drive is focused on meeting needs outside them and the need for external validation, contrasts the more effective internal locus of control that looks within gets rewarded by following values that are internalized to live by. This is what an internally driven person looks like went back to school in 2006 focus on self-improvement a degree in psychology with a goal out of gratitude to give back. In the process I gave myself much needed tools to store ideologies to be used as constructs to discriminate my own thinking. The many different incoming environmental releasing stimuli one may encounter daily does not require an emotional response, for me I use my cognition not to infer or make correlations based on how something will affect me this may be a response for someone with high anxiety. The complementary compassion response instead is to seek objective truth through a moral empathic lens to find meaning and deeper understanding in alignment to self to really make sense through an objective cognitive multiple disciplines growth mindset approach to seek reality. The external driven makes choices based on how they will be seen outside of them and are dependent on this in how it fits their ego.

Suited to reinforce their sense of superiority and maybe even make choices from insecurity, paranoia and a lot of other contingent variables that may be self-serving which it is important to consider inadequacies that contribute to personality disorder since being externally driven never comes from a good place, it is not self-reinforcing at the neural level, and it usually does not lead to a good place either.

5.      My prediction with the guy that has it out for me is he is under pressure. A lieutenant in his department has confirmed that he will run for sheriff in 2026 and is doing so he said because the current leader (the guy that hates me) throws people under the bus for his own political self-serving reasons and does not do enough like stick his neck out for his deputies rather than try to get the public behind him. My take, he said in response to this person running that he will go out and start talking to people in a few weeks. The lieutenant pretty much said one thing that Villanueva mentioned about leaders that often they just serve themselves. With an election for his position and a contender that just recently appeared I would expect that this person wants to get as much social reward as he can because this is what is successful from the outside in for him. Trouble is when an issue is a social reward to them then it would seem as something that I can go out and get or even something that I may need for my success.  

6.      To what degree morally does a person hold themselves accountable? A self has to be created this is the internalization process, internal locus of control. The external driven does not look within they create an ego-based false sense of self which is not self-reinforcing at the neural level, instead uses defense mechanisms to distort reality. In this there will be a lack of transparency and accountability to self because it is an ideal self that is not genuine and lacks authenticity.

7.      What part of neurological development is needed for a person to mature out of adolescence and young adulthood? The brain does not completely develop until a person reaches 25 years old. Neuroscientists have found a social context is required for this development and that it is the development of brain regions that will have more neuronal activity Prefrontal Cortex (OFC) versus amygdala(emotion, fear, anger). The thing is OFC is in the cortical outer region, while the limbic area that houses the amygdala and many other components needed for competing an individual maturity (intellectually, emotionally) is in the subcortical region of the brain. Pathways are what are also needed to develop for bi-directional communication to take place. These regions have everthying to do with learning (working memory) storing and retrieving information (hippocampus), and even the meso-limbic dopaminergic reward center reside here. The pathway for this reward center may connect to the anterior cingulate for empathy. Mid anterior cingulate studies have found is tied to a strong will and the meaning to live itself. Nonetheless, to develop self-efficacy or autonomy of will is connected to early positive versus negative experience before the age of six (Erikson). Just like cumulative effect of stress will atrophy the OFC studies have shown with children the same age, which is often seen in children that are in a lower socioeconomic status. This is often connected to multigenerational trauma that has been passed down at the epigenetic level just to compound things further. These variables and factors will lead to challenges in the later phase identity crises and role confusion at the time when brain region predominance (connected to early life) will take place and critical neural development of pathways take place as well from the process of socialization to this point, and how person will be able to find a rational outcome over emotionally challenging events by taking a cognitive approach through meaning and looking within makes all the difference. The contrast focusing outwards reacting by way of negative emotions that reside from within (product of not adapting well due to a more negative early life experience) will be an aggravated response. Neuronal activity is being and has been being structured from the functional state of social experience and once the structure becomes set in differing ways the functional state will follow. Knowing one will be effective and the other can be ineffective I believe is from positive versus negative early life experience that is the contributor to empathy versus apathy. Sure you have affect (feeling) separate from emotion, but being industrious versus inferior by age ten through 12 really is dependent on these early life and attachment experience. Like I was saying about internal versus external locus of control is in place early on, and one ont experience internal locus of control will be more at risk of rising above challenges and struggles in adolescence and young adulthood if environments do not change or if the issues arising from not meeting earlier stages of development are not addressed. These factors contribute to developing an adult brain that can experience intellectual and emotional maturity after age 25.

8.      It is interesting that an internal locus of control versus an external locus of control can make such a difference in being, and if so then what is it that makes up our individual being? Really it is the ability to look within and create a self based one’s ability from being loved or not which is reflective of early life experience and how a person adapted in these early stages is reflective of being engaged in your suffering (empathy) in a healthy way or not (apathy). One is a component of morality and conscientiousness while the other is a product of repression dissociation from self and disconnected from seeking the deeper meaning (think lessness) of the social circumstance of the situation at hand. One learns and reinforces who they are by engagement seeking positive outcomes, while the other reinforces that which ails them in a negative way (addicted to emotions like anger or disgust). One increases reward and dopamine while the other compresses layers of discontent all repetitive actions that are associated with development in the different brain regions associated to how the mind and the self are adapting well in one way while the other is not. Has to do with finding flow through a growth mindset, but also moral development or not, which it shows neural development has everything to do with internal versus external motivation which is a byproduct of the environment a person has experienced in all stages of early life (positive versus negative) and how a person  adapts and evolves from these experience in an emotionally healthy (i.e., innate empathy, apathy) or not is a product of the ability to look within positively or looking outside of you in a negative way.

9.      Internal versus external may be the difference between being an effective vs. ineffective leader, further whether a person is internal vs. externally driven is connected to healthy versus unhealthy attachment styles. The negative affect of the most evil people begins taking place in early life experience. From multigenerational trauma as well. This to me is an important thing to prevent; multigenerational trauma from being passed on, but it is important to prevent it from beginning in people and families. Surely a component of an effective leader especially a leader that expects a high bar of accountability. It contributes to the biological footprint we contribute to the species of mankind no doubdt.

10. So it goes, crossing the threshold of development connects to threshold of axions, dendrites, synapsis, exocytosis, and action potentials in the brain; the biology, neurophysiological, physiocochemical substrates of the human condition are really social and behavioral contingencies. Who we are and who we become is the self that is the byproduct of all of this and the mind  that we create by looking within, holding a higher bar of accountability, and choosing to be something much better makes a difference rather than just tuning out being think less due to being isolated from affect (not feeling) a product of heightened sympathetic nervous system and ending up wherever the negative state of emotion takes us.     

These are some of the fundamentals of the foundations of the mind and life that contribute to a person having a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset and how people are motivated internally or externally where it comes from, and how it contributes to structural brain components in a healthy connected or an unhealthy disconnected way which ultimately will be the function of the how and why people act the way in which they do. So much for yogurt for brains glad I dedicated the time to schooling in my later life. I thought giving back is not taking for granted, and this is something in life if we all did with the experiences of our own lives then we can grow, learn, to be something better together as a whole. Guess not, welcome to the dark ages. “Gotcha”. Not if I can help it.