(97) Re: Narcissist Abuse Cycle

perrin41@aol.com 

From:perrin41@aol.com

To:PERRIN PEREZ

Thu, Sep 5 at 10:48 PM

Undoubtedly it would take to dehumanize someone to treat them unethically using force and brutality. I have blogs dating back of the guerilla warfare that I have experienced in the form of food assaults being tracked and hunted down in a way that disregards God given inalienable rights that are supposed to be (especially by highly paid professionals) protected by the United States Constitution. That is until a leader condones outlaw practices (which undoubtedly is a form of ganging up on people), shamefully in the LACSD which had a policy prohibiting the use of outlaw practices. In which the last leader which was ousted from this position claimed he put this policy in place because he wanted to do the right thing. He also made a verbal concern of the person coming in to take his position that he was afraid of the principles of democracy being disregarded and feared that the rights of Angelinos would be broken. Hmm that is strange this and incessant bullying is what I have been experiencing. An experience that becomes more extreme, hostile, and aggravated after he has been in a position of power for a while. Also, it escalates and becomes more extreme each time the position of power has more status. In 2007 I stated I started experiencing these practices have taken place at a high-level in the form of major food assaults. Never a post card warning that there was any sort of problem of any kind. Just behaviors that are underground and away from what people claim is that of how they would ever act.

            This morning in the privacy of my own living room I was frustrated (not emotional) that another bad incident happened in Georgia and was remembering that the last incident a few months ago one of the perpetrators class mate explained that the person had been bullied all the time at a high degree and that really this is a sad story. This morning thinking of this bully i have behind the scenes being able to track his behaviors based on a number of facts that he literally pushes and presses to bring out the worst in people and by the volume (frequency, duration) of these antics, tactic's, and extreme behaviors it is apparent that it is a long enduring part of his personality that have become addictions as someone that has hatred and needs to disperse it outward due to a lack of happiness and contentment from an in balanced basis of neurology.

            One way to decipher this means to an end is his predecessor at LACSD put a policy in place against the use of outlaw practices and stated that this was because that he wanted to do the right thing. From a basis of neurology this exemplifies that his dopamine baselines are in balance, and this is or would be due to a positive reinforcement style (an internal locus of control) that is a necessary component of an effective leader. Why may you ask? Well because for one dopamine is molecule that makes you do the right thing when it is the harder thing to do. Two it is dopamine is depleted in ego-based individuals that follow an external locus control because of the fact that external validation is not self-reinforcing at the neural level. Three people that are or have low dopamine baselines due maladaptive stress response, which is an altered physiological state from too much stress or a lack of development which like the amygdala hijack a person is disinhibited or disconnected in the crucial pathways that connect the orbital frontal cortex to the limbic area. These pathways are crucial for inner focus and empathic concern. In fact, this empathic concern is a component of development contributing to development of an adult brain, because it is what allows for a context that pulls forth rational thinking over emotion through reason and takes place through compassion. Recent findings in the neurosciences from the advances in neuroimaging equipment indicate that these pathways are the last of neuro development to take place in the human brain, are the most important development that takes place and that it requires a social context for this development to take place. Wow, holy cow.

            Social emotional learning and the experience of the immediate environment that people are in play a large role in development. Even more, these regions do not develop till a person reaches the age of twenty-five but the cumulative effects of stress over each person's life is (individual specific), and it is these effects that play a crucial role if these brain regions well develop for a person to achieve the level of mental health of that of an intellectually and emotionally mature adult or not. My studies are geared around development specifically in measuring individual differences of human consciousness. For one at the micro level to bring awareness for all to reach the higher optimal state and two at the micro-level to help working professional’s that may be stuck in the bucket of one field, but must adhere to understanding other fields (multi disciplines) to be able to relieve stress by an increased ability to make for better informed compassionate choices that involve understanding the human condition and mental health development that they can make decisions in a wat that they can feel confident about. Understanding as many things that contribute to burnout and the ill-fated effect of apathy is just as important as it is to understand the things that can prevent burnout, disgust and the negative affect- apathy.  

            Ok this is a lot to take in so enough with the neural substrates that contribute to healthy versus unhealthy development. So, in a nutshell looking into different motivational factors and the different behavioral outcomes that may result, for example, so that a person can reap the benefits of sound mental health to keep reason & order in their life via development through an inner locus of control, empathic concern, and compassion, is best due to its authentic genuine nature that contributes to the most effective functional performance state. Rather than a disconnect from an externally validated ego driven based false sense of self that is less effective due to distortions of reality through defense mechanisms, and s maladaptive state which is negative because of a lack of controlled thinking. This deindividuated self instead in despair acts on impulse and is in a constant state of chaos due to a lack of inner focus, The OFC offline to a certain degree if not completely so the amygdala (radar for danger, that triggers strong emotions) scans and signals the environment because in a state of repressive apathy unresolved issues reside allowing for conflict within the subconscious mind to reside which will exacerbate ones conditioned in a high stress state of sympathetic nervous system arousal and anxiety, fear, hate and anger will show at the surface in ones behaviors. No way to live compared to functioning in a parasympathetic nervous system where you just experience sadness or joy. Nonetheless, I can state the importance practicing habits and motivational state that bring forth a healthy functional state of development due to the importance of living and experiencing intellectual and emotional maturity in your day-to-day life because of the many important implications some of which I have listed here. 

            The purpose of this email is to note that amongst my frustrations and due to being bullied incessantly it has come to my opinion that a specific person has a personal vendetta towards me. That amongst the tactics of physical and emotional abuse directed at my and others that have believed in me or supported me (only to experience underground force and brutality themselves) that regardless of responding in an intellectually and emotionally mature way, instead of responding negatively to their cry for an emotional appeal from me that sometimes you just have to give respect where respect is due. This was basically the conversation I had speaking calmly to myself in my living room this morning. So, to track the following reprisals of this private conversation in which I held with myself this morning there are a couple of things that I find important to bring awareness to. 

1) is that my house is tapped and used to micro-manage me (like an authoritarian or tyrant would) out of paranoia to try to do a few things. One retribution as an emotional response from a person that is addicted to anger, therefore a response manifested through rage that lacks a stable cognitive approach in a professional manner. Therefore it becomes all about them or retribution.

2) narcissistic abuse cycle doesn't see people just a subordinate and when the subordinate challenges the status quo studies show that this instigates violence and hatred at the highest level. So, I will follow- up in any negative appeals that I may experience to show that someone is listening and if I experience retribution and it is coming from a personal reaction. Why?

3) due to external reinforcement always coming from a negative place and not being self-reinforcing at the neural level (low dopamine baselines). Due to a lack of reinforcement because of the maladaptive stress response (neurophysiological change) due to not adapting well to stress or the cumulative effect of stress over a person's lifetime disinhibition occurs. The repercussions of a maladaptive stress response is emotionally reactive (emotional dysregulation), impulse control issues, and risky behaviors (low dopamine) due to nucleus accumbens (reward center) being out of balance. In a negative state I predict these effects (external validation, maladaptive stress response), can evolve through lack of development or burnout becoming addicted to the emotion of disgust (state of repressive apathy), which is considered being on the fence, the gateway to hell. Psychologist Rollo May says living in the state of apathy is to live in a vacuum, and to fill this void the individual will act implosively or explosively it is just a matter of time till something sets them off.

4) having to be heard at the level of an authoritarian is reciprocal to fearful paranoia (lack of trust) a tendency to interpret a false consensus due to projecting their behavior outward onto others (expecting others to act like them). The combination of anxiety of the unknown and needing external validation in that being everything outward plays an effect on them that they struggle to have a sense of control, therefore have the obsessive need to control everything around them. For example, to silence others that hold different opinions or views that may not agree with them. When disinhibited in the networks of these crucial brain regions one will interpret through a symbolic lens in the context of fear or threat in a very subjective capacity stuck acting on what ails them in a negative state of emotionality. A biased judgmental stance rather than the more objective truth seeker that sees the big picture through a structuralist approach with an open mind, high intuition, and a heightened cognitive capacity (field of neuro networking; pattern recognition). Without conflict of the subconscious due to making meaning in one’s life being empathic allows for more neuro circuitry to develop through more regions of the brain functioning as a whole a process Carl Jung termed individuation. Why it is important to learn and develop to be your best self, and to treat people with respect?

5) human dignity should be common and comes naturally in this higher form of development. Acceptance not exclusion. I have found in my studies and my own life experience that development occurs over a lifetime, and the goal being getting on track in a lot of what is mentioned here so that effective functioning can take place while developing in a way that brings about this optimal functional state of the human organism. An old myth that once brain cells die that they do not grow back is just that a myth. With billions of neurons the plasticity of the brain does not falter when positive, proactive, and in a growth mindset {synapse have the potential to develop and to change (synaptic pruning/cleansing)} and positive reinforcement. The product of learning is the product of personality traits, coping skills and adapting to stress in a heathy way while adjusting one’s lower-level trait so neuro structure (explained briefly above in two ends of extremes of a continuum) can reach that of a higher potential (cognitive capacity). In the right mindset are there any limits or potentials that cannot be reached or seen? The one time I see a compromised state of functionality often persists in the form of pathology from negative events over time that go addressed due to lacking self-awareness or individuality of character (isolated from affect/feeling) instead of looking within (dialogue/context) to find rationality of a situation from seeking that of deeper meaning. The art of caring is a science available to all willing to look within through a compassionate lens to understand themselves and others at the deeper level. This along with what I have shared here understanding developmental processes that lead to intellectual and emotional maturity when on track living in a healthy way is a process that promotes arborization of synapses like that of a beautiful tree is that of the mind and it is believing in ourselves and accepting and believing in others that leads to the highest form of achieving.